Envelope addressing, tips, and etiquette for the modern wedding

In today's fast-paced digital world, where emails and instant messages dominate our communication landscape, receiving a carefully addressed envelope in the mailbox feels like a nostalgic nod to a bygone era. Whether it's an elegant wedding invitation, a heartfelt handwritten letter, or a professionally curated business correspondence, envelope addressing holds the power to set the tone and create a lasting impression. But amidst this art form lies a set of etiquette guidelines and best practices that can sometimes be overlooked.

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In this blog post, we dive deep into the world of envelope addressing, shedding light on the essential etiquette rules and providing valuable insights on how to navigate this often underestimated aspect of correspondence. From the correct placement of names and addresses to the appropriate use of titles and honorifics, we leave no stone unturned to help you master this time-honored tradition.

With this guide, you'll gain the knowledge and confidence to address your envelopes flawlessly, whether you're preparing for a batch of wedding invitations, a special dinner event, or simply aiming to add an extra touch of elegance to your personal or professional communications.

So, let's embark on this journey to uncover the secrets of envelope-addressing etiquette and ensure your correspondence always makes a lasting impact.

Man and Woman are married 

Mr. and Mrs. Gregory Fern
124 Holly Lane
Savannah, Georgia  
12345 

Married but keeping it informal 

Victoria and Gregory Fern
Gregory and Victoria Fern
Victoria Fern and Gregory Fern 

When the husband is a doctor

Doctor and Mrs. Gregory Fern
124 Holly Lane
Savannah, Georgia  
12345

When the wife is a doctor

Doctor Victoria Fern and Mr. Gregory Fern
124 Holly Lane
Savannah, Georgia  
12345

*Note I’ve seen instances where Dr. is spelled out (this is the version I use most often)
and instances where Dr. is left abbreviated. I prefer to spell out every abbreviation
besides Mr. and Mrs. but leaving Dr. abbreviated is not necessarily wrong in my opinion.  

The couple is married but the wife kept their maiden name 

The woman’s name should come first and the man’s second.

Ms. Victoria Fuller and Mr. Gregory Fern
124 Holly Lane
Savannah, Georgia  
12345

How to address the envelope when both are doctors

Doctor Victoria Fern and Doctor Gregory Fern
or “The Doctors Fern” 
124 Holly Lane
Savannah, Georgia  
12345

(If the woman kept their maiden name simply replace their last name with their maiden name, keeping their first name on the line) 

Doctor Victoria Longbottom and Doctor Gregory Fern
124 Holly Lane
Savannah, Georgia  
12345

The couple is married, has the same last name, but she prefers Ms. over Mrs.

Ms. Victoria Fern and Mr. Gregory Fern
or Mr. Gregory Fern and Ms. Victoria Fern
124 Holly Lane
Savannah, Georgia  
12345

Note: Do not address as Mr. and Ms. Gregory Fern

Addressing when the man and woman are not married but living together?  

The woman’s name should come first in this case and appear on the first line, the man’s name
on the second line, the names should not be connected by an “and” 

Miss. (or Ms.) Elizabeth Bennet
Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy
124 Holly Lane
Savannah, Georgia  
12345

 LGBTQ Wedding invitation addressing

If the couple is married and kept their last names

Names should appear on the same line (or connected by an “and” if length forces them to two lines).
Names can appear alphabetized or not. 

Mr. Jeffery Connors and Mr. Hayden Spruce
124 Hemlock Grove
Raleigh, North Carolina
27607 

If the couple is married and has the same last name

Names should appear on the same line alphabetized by first name and connected by “and”.
I have indicated Mrs. below but I encourage you to ask your friends how THEY wish to be addressed. 

Mrs. and Mrs. Elizabeth and Jennifer Coltz-Spruce
124 Hemlock Grove
Raleigh, North Carolina
27607 

If the couple is unmarried and living together

Names should appear on separate lines and should not be connected by “and” 

Mr. Jeffery Connors
Mr. Hayden Spruce
124 Hemlock Grove
Raleigh, North Carolina
27607 

If any of the situations mentioned in the "Man and woman" category are applicable, use the same formulas. For instance, if we consider a married couple where one of them is a doctor, the doctor's name should come first, and their counterpart's name should come second, irrespective of their alphabetical order.

Married and one of them is a doctor

Doctor Jennifer Coltz-Fern and Mrs. Elizabeth Coltz-Fern
124 Hemlock Grove
Raleigh, North Carolina
27607 

Doctor Jennifer and Ms. Elizabeth Coltz-Fern

Inviting Children

A quick etiquette lesson on inviting children to your formal event:

Before you add children to the invitation ask yourself this question: “Are any of the invited children 18 years
old or older?” If yes, do not follow the below for those invitations. Instead every guest over 18 should receive their own invitation, regardless if they live in the same household. Younger than 18? You may proceed. 

For young girls (not teens), write “Miss” followed by the girl’s name and surname; for teenagers, use “Ms.” or check how they wish to be addressed. 

For young boys, write “Master” followed by the boy’s name and surname; for teenagers use “Mr.” or check how they wish to be addressed.

If there is more than one child being invited

Add “and family or and children” below the parents names

Mr. Jeffery Connors 
Mr Hayden Spruce 
and family
124 Hemlock Grove 
Raleigh, North Carolina 
27607

Ms. Victoria Fern and Mr. Gregory Fern 
and children
124 Holly Lane 
Savannah, Georgia 
12345

Alternatively, space permitting, you can add all children’s names to the front of the envelope. However, ideally, the spelling out of each child’s name invited is reserved for the inner envelope.

If there is one child being invited

Add “and child’s full name” below the parents names. You may choose to use honorifics
or list their names without honorifics or last names.

Mr. Jeffery Connors 
Mr Hayden Spruce 
and Miss Elizabeth Spruce
Raleigh, North Carolina 
27607

Ms. Victoria Fern and Mr. Gregory Fern 
Henry Fern
124 Holly Lane 
Savannah, Georgia 
12345

 

Additional Notes

I can’t fit a couple’s full names on one line

In any situation where you can’t fit the full names on one line, it is OK to indent to the next line.  .

Mr. Johnathan Hallmark
and Ms. Victoria Fern

Couples who are not married but have been together for a length of time

This is one of those situations where I tell my couples that traditional etiquette can be bent. In some cases, especially in LGBTQ relationships and senior relationships, couples may not be married for various reasons, but you still want to show respect for the status of their relationship. In these cases, it is more than acceptable to join their names with an “and” and place them on one line.

Want your envelopes to really stand out?

I’m here for you!

Add some calligraphy! 

Blush and Blue Designs are here for all your calligraphy addressing needs. Weddings, birthdays, holiday parties, and more. If you need a beautifully addressed and etiquette-correct envelope I’m here for you. As part of my service, I also look over your guest list to ensure proper etiquette that matches the formality of your event. 

Get a quote: Reach out to maria@blushandbluedesigns.com or fill out this custom design form with your details